Sydney & Denny

Sydney & Denny
September at the Park

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Parenting Rule #1!

My first decree!
That's right, you read that correct. Children are no longer allowed to grow up, especially my children. And by grow up I mean they have to stay the age they are now, forever!

Why, you ask?
Well, I'll tell you why. Because from my own experience, the problems of children get more complicated as they get older. Right now it's actually pretty easy for me to break up any arguments between my kids over who owns the piece of crap plastic toy that they are fighting over. That's an easy one. Right now in life my kids rarely listen to what I have to say. I can deal with that when it comes to them not putting on their shoes when I tell them, or not sitting up to the table properly when I tell them, or when they won't stop fighting with each other when I tell them to, or when they just won't sit down while I'm trying to catch my breath from solving the last problem. I can deal with that, but what's going to happen when they won't listen to me when I tell them to be home by midnight? What's going to happen when they won't listen when I tell them I don't want them dating the person that they currently "love?" What's going to happen when I tell them to not use their cell phone(or whatever devise we have invented ten years from now)while they are driving and they don't listen? What's going to happen when I tell them to save their money and they don't listen, spend it foolishly, then come to me for money that I don't have? What's going to happen when I tell them to drive carefully, but they don't listen to me and get into an accident that hurts(or worse)them? You see, all of those instances come with consequences I can't deal with. I can't deal with the thought of my kids ever being hurt in any way right now, so I know that as they grow older and their decisions and problems become more complex and more difficult to solve, I have no way of helping them. I have a hard enough time keeping myself together as an adult, so I'm not sure I will be able to be a father to a grown child. That is why I, as the President/Grand Pooba, of all things parenting(at least in my own mind) have decreed that children are not allowed to grow up from this point forward!

Will they listen?
I doubt it because they haven't listened to anything I've said in the past, so why would they start now. However I have made the decree and new Parenting Rule #1 that they are no longer allowed to grow up!!! They are forever to stay at this age:
They look so amazing, but believe me the evil lies within!
  Do I even need to put this to a vote?
I have a feeling that most of you that are parents will agree 100% with me on my first new Parenting Law. I don't see why we even need to put this to a vote, but if you want to disagree with this new law, you are welcome to voice your opinions in the comments section. I will take your opinions under consideration, and then tell you why I am right and you are wrong. This is the most perfect law that has ever been thought of!
Good night, and I hope it's not raining to the point of needing an arc where you are like it is here!  



  1. I don't know man. There are a lot of times that I'd like my toddler to grow up by just a year or so -- like when he has tantrums because I ask if he wants "pretzels" rather than what I have in the little bag in front of me (which were pretzels).

  2. I was just conversing with another dad blogger about his son who just turned nine, and my oldest daughter (nine going on ten).

    Each stage has their ups and downs. I think I'll really start feeling it soon because our youngest (of five) is now seven years old and getting older by the day - there is no other "little one" following her... Yikes!