MOTIVATION!!!

THE LACK OF ENERGY IS SHOCKING!
So, I have not been writing at all for over a week now, and there is a huge reason. I have mentioned numerous times that I seem to have some sort of condition that is causing me pain. Well, over the last ten days or so, that pain has been overwhelming me. More importantly, it is causing me to be exhausted at times. And by at times, I mean almost always. I literally have no energy or motivation to write, read, or even get up out of my chair. It makes it kind of hard to be a proper SAHD, not to mention take care of another child. My parenting, homemaker tasks have been lacking for a while now. It really sucks.
What to do???
I have been pondering this exact question for a few days now, and I really just don't know. I see a doctor that doesn't believe I have anything autoimmune related(even though I have had an AI illness in my past, and my mother also suffers from one) and he doesn't believe I need to see a specialist. However, he has yet to tell me what he thinks is going on with me. My pain is real, and it's almost everywhere in my body. My hands, wrists, fingers, elbows, shoulders, hips, knees, ankles, feet, toes, back, neck, you name it, it hurts. The doc has given me a higher level pain medication, but I don't really want to be just given pain meds to get by on. I want to find out what I have, and get on the road to recovery. I'm really kind of pissed at this doctor. The problem is, he is very understanding to my lack of insurance, as many doctors would not be. Luckily, my wife has been promoted to full-time at her work, and I will have insurance within two weeks! So, maybe that will help. The thing is, I hate being so inmobile. I want to get up and do stuff. I miss playing basketball so much. I said a while back in this post that I wanted to get back into shape, and I said in this post that I wanted to go to a fantasy camp, well I can't do either being in this much pain. I can't play with my kids, I can't take care of my family like I want to, I can't make myself appreciate the opportunity that I have in being able to stay at home with my kids. It really sucks.
Not that bad!
Ok, while this may seem like a really huge pity party for me, make no mistake, I realize just how lucky I am. I may have days of pain that prevent me from moving much, and I may not get to play with my kids like I want, but I know there are people out there way worse off than me. I don't have cancer(at least I hope not) or some other equally horrible disease, and I don't think I'm dieing, so I can overcome this. I just need to get a doctor to find out what's wrong with me, and get me on the road to recovery. In the meantime, I have to just find a way to suck it up and give it all I can on each and every day. It really sucks.
My awesome blogs.
In the meantime, while I'm trying to get better, you will have to make due with my awesome blog posts when I can find the motivation and energy to do them. I know that sometimes you have a hard time getting through your own day without my incredible rants on some random subject related to parenting, but fear not: I will be back at full strength. I just don't know when. It really sucks!      

Problems with alcohol.

A change in direction.
For my next blog topic I was going to discuss the manner in which my daughter was brain damaged.  However, something has come up in the news that is somewhat important to me, and a little close to my heart. If you have not heard, a player for the Detroit Tigers, Miguel Cabrera, was arrested the other day for suspicion of DUI and several counts of resisting arrest. Why is this important to me? Well, first of all, I am a huge Tigers fan. I mean I LOVE the Detroit Tigers, the same way that Papa K loves the Texas Rangers.  By taking this second misstep in the last 16 months, he is going to make it very hard for my beloved Tigers to win their division this year!

More importantly though.
The bigger issue is this guy seems to have a problem with alcohol and it can't help but affect his personal and professional life. It kind of hits close to home for me because I have had a number of family members afflicted with alcoholism. It is a terrible thing to go through I'm sure, and it's hard to watch a family member go through it. My uncle died essentially because of alcohol. He had the addiction, and sough help a number of times. He had a family and really wanted to get clean for their sake, however he just couldn't shake the hold alcohol had over him. He eventually died in a car accident because he was so drunk it's a wonder he could even put the car keys in the ignition. I was a sophomore in high school, and his was the first death of someone close to me that I experienced. It really hit me hard, and I think about him all the time even to this day. 
There are too many other instances of alcoholism on both sides of my family to even mention and I've been lucky to avoid it myself. I saw at an early age what alcohol did to people, and I never really wanted anything to do with it. As I reached my mid twenties I changed my tune a little and started using alcohol as "liquid courage." I always had a hard time talking to the ladies, and a couple drinks helped me gain some confidence. It was then that I made some of the worst decisions of my life. More than a few times I drove home after consuming a "few" drinks. Not smart at all. Forget about the legal ramifications that I could have faced, what about the people I could have hurt? What if I had gotten into an accident and hurt, or killed, someone? What if that someone was a kid? Obviously, I could have never lived with myself if any of that had happened. I was lucky, but some people are not. Our prison system is full of people who have drove drunk and killed someone, and while they may not be bad people, they made a horrible decision and now have to pay for it the rest of their lives. I stopped drinking, and I see no use for it anymore myself. I don't need "liquid courage" anymore because I have the greatest woman in the world who already loves me. If I needed alcohol to talk to her, then I guess I have bigger problems than I even know!
What I'm getting at is, I worry about my kids when it comes to alcoholism. On both sides of their family they have people who have gone through the perils that alcohol brings. Both Stacy and I come from families that enjoy partying. I have to be very careful that I keep an eye on them when it comes to drinking. I don't want them to be totally shielded from it, because it is kind of fun to have a few drinks and enjoy yourself at times. I do want to teach them responsibility when it comes to drinking though. Designated drivers(which I've been a lot in my life) are the best things to have at a party.
The other thing that scares me when it comes to my kids and drinking, and this is almost completely out of my control, is someone else drinking and driving and hurting my kids. I swear if that ever happened, the person who hurt my kids would want to be sent to prison. It would be a better fate than what I would do to them. 
That brings me back to Miguel Cabrera. He is so lucky he didn't hurt anyone. His life would be changed forever. Being able to play baseball, and make me happy by leading the Tigers to many wins this season, would be the last thing he would have to deal with. All of the facts have not come out in Mr. Cabrera's case, but he should consider himself lucky and take this latest incident as a wake up call. Nothing good seems to come from his drinking. So why do it? 
Thoughts???

Parenting: I've got no clue!

I've almost given up!
Recently my kids have come down with a condition. At first I didn't think that there was a name for it, but after watching "Bill Cosby: Himself" I now know the name of this condition. It's called Brain Damage!!! Yes, both of my kids have it. It's especially bad in my son. How do I know they have brain damage? Well, because I had it as a child, so I am able to recognize the symptoms in my kids. What I thought was "normal" behavior when I was a child, I now see as an adult is only the result of brain damage.
I used to think(again, when I was a child) that the answer to "Why did you do that???" was always "I don't know." I literally would not know why I did whatever brain damaged act that I had done. Now, I see it ripe in my children. My son is only 2, and doesn't talk the greatest yet(we are working on it, get off my back already!) but he is VERY smart. So, when he does the SAME DAMN THING HE GOT INTO TROUBLE FOR YESTERDAY, you would think that he would realize that he shouldn't do it again. But, nooooo. He continues to do the same thing every day.  For example, when you as a two year old get your behind swatted(I said swatted, not spanked, so don't report me to CPS) and put in timeout for a half-hour for climbing up on and sitting on your dresser, you would think that it's best to not do it again the next day. Now I know I did the same crap as a kid and I didn't see the big deal. I could climb up there and get down without any problems at all, so why all the fuss? I'm sure he thinks the same thing. Now as an adult(and more importantly a parent) I see the inherent dangers in climbing on a dresser. I can just see him climbing up it and it falling over on him. Or, I can see him jumping off from it and breaking his leg(s.) I could go on, but I prefer not to think about the harm that could come to my son. So, my point is, after being punished for it one day, why would you do it again the next day? I'll tell you why: BRAIN DAMAGE!
It's all about the juice!
On top of that, sometimes my son and I are just too much alike. I am pretty bull-headed, or so I've been told anyway. I refuse to accept no for an answer at times. Apparently my son is the same way. On occasion we have let him take a sippycup of juice or water to bed and keep it beside his bed at night. I often do the same thing, only with a glass of water, not a sippycup! I understand that he gets thirsty at night, and it's easier if the drink is right there. I get it. But, when you put the cup in bed with you and spill it all over yourself and the bed, you have to realize that you're probably not going to be allowed to have that drink anymore. So, last night we said no juice in bed as we tucked the kids in about 9pm. For the next two hours all we heard from upstairs was him screaming at the top of his lungs for some juice. I even went up there and let him get a drink of water from the bathroom. He just spit it out! Stubborn little shit! So, finally my wife and I gave in and gave him some darn juice. He was asleep in about five minutes. The worst thing is, as I stood on our steps while he screamed at the top, I noticed something. I REALLY need to vacuum our steps! 
So my point tonight is this: I have no clue how to parent! When you're dealing with two children as brain damaged as mine, you can't use logic. It just doesn't work. They are too brain damaged. And the worst part of it? They got it from me!
 As for my daughter's brain damage?
Well, I've gone on long enough explaining how brain damaged my son is that I'll wait until tomorrow to explain the brain damage that my daughter has suffered. 
Make no mistake, I am not complaining about either of my children here. It's the brain damage that makes things fun around here. It's a challenge I face every day and can't wait to see what kind of brain damaged stuff happens tomorrow. 
As a side note, I in no way intend to make light of anyone who has suffered actual brain damage. The "brain damage" I'm referring to is just my way of talking about typical child misbehavior. I REALLY hope that I have not offended anyone.

Well, what do you know?

It seems that my blog is back up and running! I have had a problem publishing anything for the last week or so. Every time I tried to publish anything, it would just disappear forever. So, I got Blogger on the case, and it seems to be working better now.
So, be ready for some very awesome new blog posts in the very near future. I hope you are ready, cuz I'm about to get awesome!

TECHNOLOGY SUCKS!!!

I AM SO PISSED!
I just spent the last couple of hours reading an article given to me by a blogging friend as a topic to write a blog about. I did some research, wrote up what I thought was a really insightful, educational, awesome blog post. I previewed the blog, made a couple of minor changes and published it. Only, it didn't publish. It just went away! I have no idea where it went, it's gone. I do have theories though.
First, I think that the company involved in my article thought my blog post was so awesome that they intervened and decided to keep the world from reading it afraid that if everyone read my article, well you get the picture.
Second, aliens from outer space read my post and erased it from the internet because they realized that I'm so afraid of them that I piss myself just thinking about them, and they are just trying to mess with me!
Third, and most likely, the blogging "friend" who gave me the article to read and use when I mentioned I was having writers block, "stole" my blog post because it was so awesome and kept it for himself. I have yet to see my post pop up on his blog, but I'm sure it will at some point! Just kidding and thanks Keith!

What now???
Well, it's way too late for me to re-write my blog post, and I'm way too tired anyway. I have tried everything I know to recover the post, but since I am very limited in my computer techy type stuff, I have really no shot. So, all of you that are sitting on the pins and needles waiting to read what I have built up to be the most amazing blog post ever, you will have to wait until tomorrow. I'm sorry, but there is not much I can do about it at this point. Please do not flood my comment section begging me to re-write that post. I'll get it done sometime tomorrow. I promise. Until then, have a good night.

103 is the new 100!!!

MEMORABLE POST HERE!!!
Okay, everyone I have an announcement! This is my 103 blog post! Apparently I don't pay close enough attention, and I missed when my 100th post happened. I feel that 100 blog posts is a pretty memorable thing don't you? It means I actually am a blogger in my mind. 
With that in mind, I thought I would remember and list all the other most memorable days in my life. It might not mean a whole lot to you, but it does to me. These are the days that define who I am, and why I write what I do. So here goes.

December 1, 1991.
This was the day that I first started showing symptoms of ulcerative colitis. This illness went on to define who I am today. I have allowed myself to be held back to this day because I had this illness. It was a rough time in my life, but I survived, and I'm here to annoy you! 

May 8, 1996.
As you will see soon, this date is pretty big in my life. But for this particular instance, it was when I had a surgery called  Proctocolectomy with Ileoanal Pouch. This surgery basically removed my large intestine and eliminated ulcerative colitis for me. It was a horrible night prior, one of the worst of my life. I couldn't sleep, I had a huge migraine headache, I was so nervous. Then I broke down the morning of surgery with my mom and cried because I knew I was not going to have to deal with this condition that made things so difficult for me. It was very emotional for me. This surgery was a two part procedure and I had to return to The Cleveland Clinic in August to have the second part done, but this was the big day. 

May 5, 2003.
This is the date of the first email that I sent to Stacy through Match.com. This was the smartest, most opportunistic email I have ever sent. I was very fortunate that she even read it, and continued to communicate with me over the internet. 

May 23, 2003.
This is the day that I drove from Springport, MI. to Toledo, OH. in order to meet Stacy in person for the very first time.  If you have read any of my past blog posts, you will know that it was love at first type and that we knew we were in love even before we ever laid eyes on each other. This day was so amazing, and I'll never forget how Stacy looked as she walked out of her apartment to greet me. I never went home as Stacy and I were engaged less than a month later. That leads me to...

May 8, 2004.
That's right, May 8th has popped up again! This was the day that the union between Stacy and I was made legal! We were married in Toledo and to this day I feel lucky that Stacy married me. Out of all the men in the world, she chose me!!! 

 I mean look at me, I'm not exactly up for People's Sexiest Man Alive Award!!! Just a lucky, overweight, dufus of a guy! 


November 9, 2005.
This is the day that I became qualified to write this blog. In order to be a SAHD, you have to be a D. This was when Sydney was born. I will never forget the feeling of excitement, and dread that I had. I was so excited to have a little girl, but I was so afraid because I realized that I had someone else to think about from now on. Yes, being married to someone means not always thinking about yourself, but as all parents know, when you become a parent, the world changes.

  And when the little girl is this amazing, well as I've said, I'm pretty lucky!

May 11, 2008.
Early May seems to be a pretty big time of the year for me huh? Well, this is the day parenting actually got hard. This was when our second kid was born, and I had my boy! Denny came along and weighed in at 11lbs 5oz.! That's right, he was huge, and he's still a big boy. He's an absolute tank! And, he's a handful to say the least. If you have read my past stuff, you know how frustrated I get with this little boy sometimes. But, you will also see just how much I love this little trouble maker.

Plus, when you can put him to work clearing the snow at 2 years old, I've got it made!

What's next?
Well, those are the days that have shaped me into who I am. I'm just wondering what the big days that stick out to me will be in the future. Will it be when I graduate from college finally? Will it be when I finally hit the lottery? Will it be when my kids graduate from college, or get married, or horrify me and make me a grandfather? Will it be when Stacy and I hit 50 years, all though I doubt I'll be able to live that long. And that's just because I'm afraid Stacy will stop being able to put up with my sorry butt, and she finally takes me out back and shoots me!
So, what are your big days? Did they shape you as a person as much as my days have me? I would love to hear from you, so please let's talk!