Sydney & Denny

Sydney & Denny
September at the Park

Monday, February 28, 2011


So, I have not been writing at all for over a week now, and there is a huge reason. I have mentioned numerous times that I seem to have some sort of condition that is causing me pain. Well, over the last ten days or so, that pain has been overwhelming me. More importantly, it is causing me to be exhausted at times. And by at times, I mean almost always. I literally have no energy or motivation to write, read, or even get up out of my chair. It makes it kind of hard to be a proper SAHD, not to mention take care of another child. My parenting, homemaker tasks have been lacking for a while now. It really sucks.
What to do???
I have been pondering this exact question for a few days now, and I really just don't know. I see a doctor that doesn't believe I have anything autoimmune related(even though I have had an AI illness in my past, and my mother also suffers from one) and he doesn't believe I need to see a specialist. However, he has yet to tell me what he thinks is going on with me. My pain is real, and it's almost everywhere in my body. My hands, wrists, fingers, elbows, shoulders, hips, knees, ankles, feet, toes, back, neck, you name it, it hurts. The doc has given me a higher level pain medication, but I don't really want to be just given pain meds to get by on. I want to find out what I have, and get on the road to recovery. I'm really kind of pissed at this doctor. The problem is, he is very understanding to my lack of insurance, as many doctors would not be. Luckily, my wife has been promoted to full-time at her work, and I will have insurance within two weeks! So, maybe that will help. The thing is, I hate being so inmobile. I want to get up and do stuff. I miss playing basketball so much. I said a while back in this post that I wanted to get back into shape, and I said in this post that I wanted to go to a fantasy camp, well I can't do either being in this much pain. I can't play with my kids, I can't take care of my family like I want to, I can't make myself appreciate the opportunity that I have in being able to stay at home with my kids. It really sucks.
Not that bad!
Ok, while this may seem like a really huge pity party for me, make no mistake, I realize just how lucky I am. I may have days of pain that prevent me from moving much, and I may not get to play with my kids like I want, but I know there are people out there way worse off than me. I don't have cancer(at least I hope not) or some other equally horrible disease, and I don't think I'm dieing, so I can overcome this. I just need to get a doctor to find out what's wrong with me, and get me on the road to recovery. In the meantime, I have to just find a way to suck it up and give it all I can on each and every day. It really sucks.
My awesome blogs.
In the meantime, while I'm trying to get better, you will have to make due with my awesome blog posts when I can find the motivation and energy to do them. I know that sometimes you have a hard time getting through your own day without my incredible rants on some random subject related to parenting, but fear not: I will be back at full strength. I just don't know when. It really sucks!      


  1. Maybe what you can do to keep the motivation to post is to post little posts. maybe a picture or video.. just to keep you going and the flow not to cease.

    i should do the same. i've been in another funk lately.