Sydney & Denny

Sydney & Denny
September at the Park

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Sibling Rivalry

Brother vs. Sister.
My wife and I used to think we wanted three kids. We don't think that anymore. The reason we don't think that anymore is simple. Things sometimes get intense enough around here with two kids that adding a third child to the mix might make something bad happen.  Denny is crazy enough as it is, I can't imagine him as a middle child. And, if we did have a third child and it was a girl, poor Denny wouldn't stand a chance! So, we are sticking with the two kids we have. In the meantime, they have developed a nice little sibling rivalry. 
They do love each other.

As you can see from the picture above, Denny is a little insane like I've mentioned before, but they do get along at times. I hear them playing with each other sometimes and it's like music to my ears. We all know that the laughter of children is awesome, but when I hear these two kids laughing and playing with each other, it makes me giddy with joy. Then there are other times. Other times include the fighting, the hair pulling, the biting, the hitting, the pinching, the taunting and of course the tattling.  
I swear they hate each other sometimes. Their is a constant battle over the possession of one toy or another. Sydney insists that everything in our house is hers, and that she gets to supervise when and how every toy is played with. I swear the other day I heard her say "I didn't tell you you could play with your own toys!" She's that bossy and pushy with Denny. I feel for the poor boy. Then I remember that at two years old, he's almost as big as his five year old sister and can inflict some pretty good damage onto her. Sydney has little hand sized bruises on her forearm right now from Denny grabbing her as hard as he can for some reason or another. I sometimes feel like a boxing official and that I have to send them to neutral corners before they come out fighting again.
They will grow out of it though. I think?
I would like to think that my kids will grow out of this phase they are in. I'd like to think that there will come a time in life when I don't have to worry about them causing bodily harm to each other, but I'm not sure that's going to be the case. I remember my sister and I fighting like cats and dogs as we grew up. There was always something she was doing that pissed me off. And, there was always something I was doing that she could go tell Mom about. Well, today the relationship is nonexistent over something a lot more grownup. But even through early adulthood our relationship was always strained. I think that to this day she believes that I was favored as the oldest child. My youngest sister(I have two younger sisters) and I have a great relationship. I consider her a friend as well as my sister. It was just the sister closest in age that I had issues with. I feel bad that things have turned out how they have and I always wonder if I did anything to cause her to feel about me the way she does. I hope and pray that my kids learn to get along and realize that fighting will get them nowhere good. 
While my sister and I have always had a rocky relationship, my wife and her brother on the other hand, have always had a good one. Stacy tells me that her brother and her always got along and never fought. I'm sure there were instances of fighting, but even today I can see where they are friends. I hope that my kids learn to develop that type of relationship. Maybe they will due to the fact that there won't be any other kids around. Maybe they will team up together against Mom and Dad. Just what I need. I already have a hard time moving around, I don't need to have them coordinate their efforts! 
Do you have any instances of sibling rivalry and how has that turned out for you? I'd love to hear any ideas on how to foster better relationships between siblings.
With that, I'm done for the day. Have a great night and see you tomorrow. 


  1. You know, my brother is 14 years older than me and I still find myself feeling slightly jibed by his relationship with my mother, and the rivalry for who has the best home, best life etc continues. Not so much now weve had Youngling but it is still there on some level. I found it worse with my cousins when I was younger. Very intense. But again I think with age and having had my own children now it has all changed though I am rather chuffed I am the first out of all of us to have had any children ;-) lol ~ xx not very helpful I know ~ xx

  2. My sister is three years younger than I am. Growing up we were relatively close, then as she got into high-school we separated, college was more distant. After graduation, I got the hell out of dodge and she stayed there. Then I married the Jap and our relationship was nill. After the divorce, I relied on her for kid feedback and it grew again.

    We are two totally different people. She is a small town girl who lives in a one red light town. I on the other hand, live in the city. Today its as close as it has ever been.

    About 11 years old, she tried to stab me once, or at least I thought she did, she WAS holding a knife at me. Then I tried to hit her with a baseball bat....ahhhhh, good times!

  3. Can't help you out. My sister(two years younger) and I were as close as two peas in a pod. In fact, we teamed up against our Mom when we needed to.
    Now my kids on the other hand, that's another story. John, the oldest, gets very jealous of Claire and Joshua. I don't know why but he does. He starts most of the arguements in the house. But I can't tell how to fix it. Sorry! Good Luck!
    Thanks for the well wishes yesterday. I'm feeling much better today.
    Your Friend, m.

  4. Five kids. Four are all within five years of each other. There's going to be the sibling rivalry. It's just there. My wife is the oldest of 2 (3 years apart) and then has a step sister. I am the oldest of seven.

    We didn't take sibling rivalry into consideration because to us it's not an life changing issue. Sure a baby is going to get more attention for obvious reasons, so you have to give as much time to the other kids as well.

    My middle daughter.. 4 of 5 (the 2 year old) gets her feelings hurt really quick. And it's because she sometimes gets lost in the chaos. So I just take a time out. Hold her on the couch while she's watching TV or hold her hand while walking from room to room. It makes both of us feel better.

    But if you were thinking about having more kids, I would say don't use sibling rivalry as a reason not to populate.