What were they thinking?

I'm going to start studying genealogy!
I've decided that I want to know more about where I come from. I think it's important that we all know where we come from. If you don't know where you've been, you'll never get where you're going. Isn't that some sort of famous phrase of some kind? Well, my point is that I would really like to know more about my ancestors, and those of my wife. I'd like to know the names of the people that I am descended from. I'd like to know what they did to survive, how they made a living, what they did for recreation. I know that genealogy is the study of this sort of thing, so I'm looking into taking a class or two on the subject. Just enough to learn what to do, and where to go in order to do this type of research. I really feel like I need to know this stuff to understand something I'm dieing to know.
Once I know who they were!
So, once I take the aforementioned classes, and learn about genealogy, and find out who my ancestors were, what do I use that information for? I mean really how is knowing this information going to do me any good? Well, I'll tell you, I have this plan. I'm going to get together with some really smart physicist type of people and make them my really good friends. I'm going to get them drunk one night and convince them that we CAN build a time machine. I'm going to get these really smart guys to really believe that time travel is possible. If you read my blog, you will remember that I did a post about time travel before. If not you can read it here.  I don't really know if time travel is possible, but I know that there are people a lot smarter than me out there that with the right encouragement can be made to believe that they can make it possible.  Well, after they build me my time machine, I'm going to travel back in time and meet all the people that are my ancestors. I mean WAY back. All the way back to when North America was settled. I want to meet the people that I'm related to when they first settled here in this part of the country.
Why meet them?
Well, I'd like to meet these people and ask them a question. I'd like to look them in the eye and ask them if they are as freaking stupid as I think they are! Think about it for a second. If you lived back in that time and had really no insulation, no furnace, not much in terms of warm clothes, and your floor was probably the ground. Why in the Blue Hell do you settle in this part of the country??? It's damn cold out here in Michigan, and there is no reason to live here when you don't have to. If I was alive back in the 1700's and I came to America, I'd ask to be dropped down by Florida. Yeah, there are other weather issues down there, but you wouldn't have to live four months of the year trying to just stay warm as my number one priority of the day. So, now after I time travel back there and meet my ancestors, I'm going to punch them square in the face!!! There's about 8 inches of snow on the ground here, and it's so cold you can smell it when you walk outside. I know Minnesota has it worse, but I still hate this crap. When you have problems with arthritis, the cold sucks! So, to my ancestors I say thanks so much! You idiots!