Sydney & Denny

Sydney & Denny
September at the Park

Sunday, October 3, 2010

I don't want to die!

That song from Highlander.
I have come to a decision in my life. I don't want to die. At least not anytime soon that is. I've gotten to an age in life where I am thinking about the possibility of dieing more than I'd like to. What usually starts me thinking along those lines is when I think about all of the things I haven't accomplished in my life. There is so much I want to do that I haven't yet, and it makes me realize that I don't have unlimited time here. And, I don't want to live forever. It's like that Queen song from Highlander, "Who Wants to Live Forever?" I just don't want to die anytime soon. I look at my two beautiful kids and I don't want to be that guy that you read about dieing and leaving behind a young family.  I don't want my kids to tell future potential boyfriend/girlfriends "My dad passed away when I was a kid." I just don't want to put my kids and wife through a life without Daddy and Husband. As much as I want to accomplish in life, the thing I want most is to see this through and see how things turn out. I want to see what my kids grow up to be. I would like to be a grandparent(although that may be hard since my kids are not allowed to have sex until I do actually die!)
Mid-life crisis?
Because I am going through this little spell, and even some depression, my wife thinks I'm having a mid-life crisis.  I don't like the sound of that though because that means I'm half-way through my life right? I'm only going to live till I'm 74? I'm not sure that's going to be enough to see what I want to see, and do what I want to do. At the pace I'm going, it won't be enough. How do I fix this issue? Seize the day? Work out more? Make sure I am spending as much time with the kids as possible? Sure, all of that would work I'm sure, but there is still one thing I'd like to see that I haven't mentioned yet tonight.
The REAL issue.
Okay, I've been all deep and  thought provoking, but I haven't mentioned the absolute real reason that I'm not ready to die. I have been wanting to do something for as long as I can remember, and I'm not sure it's going to happen any time soon. Ever since I was a little boy there has been one thing that I have loved to do and wanted to do more than anything. Now as I've grown to manhood my priorities have changed a bit. This one thing still rates high on my list of priorities but not at the top. If you ranked the things I love in my life it would fall behind my family, my friends, a good meal, Duke basketball, and unmentionable things with my wife. But after that, is the Detroit Lions. I do not want to die before I see them win the Super Bowl! I don't know how that is ever going to happen though. They lost again today in yet another different way. That franchise frustrates the crap out of me, and I don't know what to do. I've tried to move on with my life and let the Lions go. I just can't. They draw me back in every time. Now we are in the midst of the worst stretch of football in NFL history, but I'm so in love with the Lions that I think I see progress. Whatever, they lose and they lose and I go running to the TV to watch it happen. I have a problem.
I don't want to die!

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