What is my role?
Over the course of the last few days I have been doing a lot of thinking about a certain subject. As I have mentioned, I have been dealing with some personal health issues, and it has made writing this blog a little difficult for me to do. I feel better today, and it made me want to put down here in blog world just what it is that has been rumbling around in this crazy, messed-up head of mine.
I have been giving a lot of thought to what my role is as a parent in my little family model we have here. Now, I'm sure I'm not the first SAHD to go through this same thought process, but it's not that I'm questioning my worth. I'm starting to wonder what role I SHOULD play.
I think it would be safe for me to say that over the last week I have been a little, I guess cranky would be the best word for it. I don't mean for that to be the case, it's just when you are in the amount of pain that I have been in, it's hard to be patient. And just to be clear, the amount of pain I have been in, is not crippling. It kind of was last weekend, but over the course of the week, it's been more of an annoyance type of thing. Maybe a six on the pain scale to ten. Enough to make me less than patient with other aspects of my life. Up to and including my two wonderful children. Little things that they do or don't do have been driving me a little wacko! I have always been less than patient, but I know I've been worse than normal lately. I've apologized, but how much does a five and two year old get the apology really? They just know that Daddy has been yelling more, and that they don't like it.
Anyways, by being more impatient than normal, my kids have actually been behaving a little better than normal. Because of that I have been wondering if maybe I should be more of a disciplinarian. Maybe they respond to that better. Then, I remember that NOBODY likes to be yelled at. Even if they respond best to it. So, I think maybe I should trend more towards being their buddy. Like I have a lot in their young lives. They respond to that I think. Or, should I go for the middle ground? I don't know really.
Then it hit me! The answer is yes! Yes to all of the questions I had. Yes to all of the approaches I should take. I should take the approach that works best at that very moment. I know that sounds like giving them inconsistent results, and perhaps that's right. However, my job is to be their father, and my definition of that is to keep those kids safe, happy and well adjusted. To make them valuable contributors to society. And as I mentioned, safe with me. If that means yelling at them for playing with the light plug, that's what it means. If that means letting them crawl all over their nearly crippled Daddy the next minute, that's what it means. If it means, taking a hard-ass approach to something one minute in order to make a point, and letting something slide the next, so be it. It's my job to know my kids, and know what the moment calls for. I can say with 100% certainty that there are going to come times in life where I really don't know what the moment calls for. And, I'm going to screw it up. Lord knows I already have. It's what you do after those mistakes that really matters. AND THAT IS WHAT I'M GOING TO TEACH MY KIDS!
I would really like to read feedback on this topic if you have any. I started this blog with part of my goal for it being to learn new and better parenting skills. So, if anyone out there thinks I'm full of dog crap with this idea, I want to know it. I'd like to know what other good ideas are that you use to define your role as a parent. Any advise is appreciated.
Also, the title of this post go to remembering a song from a while back, so I linked to it here. I hope you enjoy the song, and have a great night.