Sydney & Denny

Sydney & Denny
September at the Park

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I am a huge Dork!

I've come to grips with it, and so should you!
I'll just come out and say it, I'm a dork. I've always kind of known this to be true, but it really kind of hit me earlier today. Let me tell you the story a little. I was picking up Sydney from school and bumped into a friend of mine from high school and a few years after. She asked how I was doing and I replied, "I'm still fat, and a dork." She laughed and said that I was full of it. "No, I really am. Good thing my wife likes dorks huh?" That's when it hit me, I really am a dork.  I'm not as big of a dork as the guy pictured above, but I am a dork nonetheless.
My dorkiness.
Let me just tell you about me and my dorky past. Let me draw you a mental picture first. Picture the late '80s when all of the Hair Bands were at their most popular. Everyone in my high school was growing out their mullets like the guys in the bands. Now picture a skinny, but very athletic, guy deciding that he was going to cut all of his hair off into a flattop. That same guy wore glasses. Big round glasses. So you have a skinny, almost bald kid who wore glasses. Maybe I was as big of a dork as Urkel! It wasn't just my appearance that made me a dork though. I am an absolute sports nerd even to this day. I can retain sports information like no one you know for some reason. I mean I could be on, and be very successful, any of the sports trivia game shows that you see on TV. Well that skinny guy would spout off that info at times that most high school kids could really care less about. Not only that, but I have had a love affair with Star Wars from the moment I first seen it on the big screen. It gets better(or maybe worse, I'm not sure.) I had a basketball rim set up on my grandparents garage. Their house was just 200 yards from my house so I would walk down there EVERY day. I would shoot baskets on that rim until my fingers bled. My family would worry about me during the summer that I was going to pass out from heat stroke. I didn't care, I loved being out there. Well, I would see my friends, or other people from school, drive by and honk at me on the way to a party of some sort. Well, on their way home later that night, guess who they would see out at the rim still shooting away? Yep, me. I had a vapor light over the rim so I could shoot all night if I wanted. Now, with all of that practice, you would think I would have been some kind of basketball prodigy or something. Not so much though. I'm still only 5'9", white and can't jump out of the gym. Sure I could shoot the rock, but I could never get myself open enough to get my shot off. The point is, while the cool kids were having fun and doing the whole high school stuff, I was by myself playing basketball. 
It gets worse though. As an 18 year old I was away at college to play football. It was a small Division III school, so settle down, I wasn't some big star or anything. I got really sick with a disease known as Ulcerative Colitis. It almost killed me. So imagine a guy who was already socially shy to say the least, now having a condition that made him run to the rest room all of the time. I lost any self-confidence that I may have had. My self-esteem was lower than I can describe. I withdrew a lot more. Becoming, in my mind, an even bigger dork! I made sports an even bigger emphasis in my life. I was the guy playing slow-pitch softball like it was the World Series. I've always been very competitive, but it got out of hand. My teams were always pretty good, but I made it life and death. I had a problem.
My health improved, but not my dorkiness!
I had surgery to correct my illness, and things even got better for me. But, I was still a dork. I was still the guy who loved sports a little too much. I still loved Star Wars. And, I was still socially inept. I struggled through life unhappy in my dorkdom. I wasn't happy with who I was. I wanted to be cool. So, I made myself be cool. I realized that the illness I had had, was not my fault. I realized that being me, was cool. I made huge strides, but at the end of the day, I was still a dork. Sure part of my opinion of dorkiness was about the ladies. I wasn't the type of guy who could just talk to a woman and impress her. I wasn't smooth at all. I started to learn how to talk to the fairer sex and that made me feel a little better about me. It wasn't enough though, I was still a dork. 
Stacy saved me from my dorkiness!
Then, I met the one person who loves me for my dorkiness. I met my wife on, as I've mentioned here. I was able to develop a relationship with her over the internet without her seeing my dorkiness in person. The dork came out full tilt, but over the internet and on the phone, it wasn't so bad. Or, so I thought. I remember making the comment on the phone to her one time before we had met in person, that I was such a dork. I'll never forget what she said. "Yeah, but I really like that about you." Holy crap!!! Being a dork was finally paying off.  Now after being together for over seven years, and married for over six, we still talk about how big of a dork I am. There will be times when we hear a song I really like, and I'll dance like a crazy person. And, I have to mention that I am the whitest of white men and have ZERO rhythm. Needless to say, when I dance, I look like I'm having some sort of fit or convulsion. I really hope you get the reason for that link. Well anyway, while I'm "dancing" Stacy will just look at me, roll her eyes, and say "You're such a dork."
That's the point!
I've finally accepted in my own mind, that yes, I'm a dork. And that's a good thing. My wife loves me, not in spite of, but because I'm a dork. My kids are going to be so embarrassed by their Dear Old Dad some day. But, that's why I'm here. I'm a huge dork, and I'm okay with it. And you should be too!
With that, I'll stop. Have a great weekend.
Football picks.
Lions over Bills
UM over Purdue
Bye over MSU.
I had to throw that last one in their for you Danielle!!!  


  1. Dorks are more reliable than non-dorks.. When women faced with a life or death situation where they need a question answered correctly or they die, you think they're going to ask the non-dork?

    Heck no.

  2. I'm a little dorky myself. I ordered a gingerbread latte today from the coffee shop, and it came with a small gingerbread cookie. I took one look at the cookie and exclaimed "Oh WOW! I cute little cookie!" The girl behind the bar started giggling, the guy behind me did a facepalm. I blushed a little and walked away. Yes, I too am a proud Dork! HAHA

  3. You know...I always thought I wanted a suave tall, dark and handsome guy...but in the end I married a dork. They make life so much more...interesting!

  4. Keith, I had my wife read your comment, and it made her laugh out loud! That was nice man. Nothing wrong with cute little cookies!

  5. Susie, why would you want one of "those" guys. As Eric said dorks are way smarter and in you own words "more interesting." My wife says that dorks are more appreciative of attention and treat women better as well. Thanks for your comment from all of us dorks!