Sydney & Denny

Sydney & Denny
September at the Park

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Daddy feels bad

Hello again.
As I mentioned earlier, I went to a HS football game to keep stats tonight. A long-time friend of mine is a coach there, and he asked me to be the stat keeper. Of course I said I would, I just love sports that much. Where the problem arose tonight is that, my kids didn't want me to leave. When I told them I had a game to go to, Denny said "Noooo." Even though he doesn't talk much, he KNOWS that word. He hears it enough, I promise you that. Sydney seemed fine with it, until later that is. I kept in touch with the wife throughout the game by text, and after she told me she was putting the kids to bed, she sent me a text that broke my heart. She said Sydney was having a hard time, and wanted to call me and tell me she loved me. I guess she was crying and kind of breaking down. Well, I called when I had a second, and talked to her and told her I loved her, but she didn't seem calmed. Apparently after that she was on her pretend phone talking to me and telling me how much she liked sitting and watching movies with me, how much she liked sitting at the table coloring with me, and all sorts of stuff. Talk about breaking my heart!
I guess the two of them have grown really attached to me, which is good since I am their father. But, it makes the wife feel bad.  She feels like the like me more than her, which is RIDICULOUS!!! She doesn't see how much they ask about her throughout the day, and how when they wake up at night, it's her they ask for. Stacy claims it's because they know at night I sleep like the dead and they have no chance at waking me, but I know that's not it. I think Stacy and I have done a good job of sharing the parenting load, and we each have our roles. Right now, the kids are really attached to me because I am with them almost all of the time, plus I am the Daddy that picks them up and spins them around, tickles them, and makes them laugh. Mommy is the one they go to when they need the soft lovey stuff. We both have roles, even though Stacy and I have somewhat reversed what a lot of people would call traditional. Ever since we have been together she has been the one to deal with the stuff requiring mechanical inclination, and I have handled most of the housework. Now, I am the one who stays at home with the kids. Yeah, that may be sexist to say but it's true. Traditionally men and women have had certain roles in marriage and parenting, and more and more it's being flipped upside down. Stacy and my marriage is just one example, and I think the kids being attached to me is just a byproduct of that.
Or, they just like how I smell! I do have some really good smelling soap that I use, and my deodorant is out of this world awesome! Plus, I've mentioned that I am overweight, so that means I always have snacks around. Included in said snacks is often Keebler Peanut Butter Cup cookies, possibly the most perfect food ever made. I think that may be why they want me around so much.
Okay, it's late and I have to go to bed sometime, so I'll see you soon.
I hope all is well for you, and always remember: It's not the size of the dog in the fight, oh forget it. Good night!

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry too much. I believe boys vs. girls are just different. I have a girl and boy 13 months apart. They are now 6 and 5 (my girl being the oldest of the two). My daughter was talking pretty good shortly after she turned 2. My son was well into his threes by the time he started really gaining a vocabulary.

    Looking back at it I realized that when my daughter was born she got a lot of attention, everyone was talking to her and trying to make her talk. There was no competition. My son received some of the same treatment but just not as heavy because the older sibling was now actually speaking which still held the attention.

    Not to mention by that time my daughter had paved the way for her brother. Everyone had gotten used to understanding what all the grunts and mummers meant, which meant my boy didn't have to try as hard to get what he wanted.

    Now, their littlest brother (now 2) is also going through the same verbal curve. He has been slow to pick up words that make any sense; however, he understands everything and follows directions just fine. I have seen many little girls his age with more vocabulary than him, but I also understand every child develops a little differently with different circumstances.

    I would have thought with two older siblings the youngest would have picked up talking quicker to keep up with the pack, but what I noticed was he just has more help getting what he wants without using any words.

    Here's somethings that have worked for me. I'm already noticing a difference. When my youngest wants something I make him try to say the item he is asking for like "Mil" (for milk) or "Popicle" (for popsicle) as long as it's sounds close enough, I get him what he wants.

    Sometimes it's a battle of wills. I know he can say it but he just won't. Even though it's tough and he throws a fit, I'll leave it on the counter and won't give in for a good 3 to 5 minutes giving him a chance use his words. Of course I repeat over and over the word of the item he wants and definitely praise the effort if he says it or not. Sometimes it works sometimes he scolds me with his baby talk, which is very not to bust out laughing.

    I also use books with lots of pictures to point at simple objects and get him to point and even say the object he is pointing at. Normally, we don't event read the story just practice naming the pictures.

    If you are truly concerned and if you haven't done so already. Have his hearing checked. My now 5 year old did have hearing problems, which causes him to still have trouble with his speech. Although his speech class has helped him a lot.

    My 2 year old also won't pronounce certain letters like "S" but I'll keep any eye one it for another year or so before I get his hearing checked.

    Whatever the case is/was I made sure they new I loved them and gave hugs with high-fives for the effort.

    I hope this helps a little,
    Kevin Chertkow
    Dad To The Bone