Sydney & Denny

Sydney & Denny
September at the Park

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Discipline and my kids

I'll just say this about my kids and discipline: There seems to be none! I try to straddle that line between a tough guy and their best buddy, but I end up on the buddy side more times than not. Even when I get upset and give them crap, I end up caving. I have patience issues with both of my kids and my wife, but deep down I'm a softy. I think it's partially why my kids seem to be favoring me over their mother right now. I am with them so much and being nothing more than a big kid myself, I play with them so much more than anything else. I feel guilty every single time I have to get after them. I believe that kids need discipline in their lives, and I don't know if I am doing a very good job of it up to this point. I can NOT get my son to keep from playing with electrical cords and outlets. I get after him every single time, in a variety of manners, but he just will not listen to me. I think it's somewhat important to keep him alive, and I THINK that maybe it's good idea to keep him away from the electrical outlets. Just a thought.
It goes back to my thoughts on discipline. How do I get my kids to listen to me? I was brought up to do exactly what my parents said, when they said it, or else there was consequences that were not desirable. I got my ass whupped more than a few times, and I don't really like the idea of my kids being afraid of me like I was of my parents. Yes, I have gotten after my kids with volume, and I have my patience issues, but I don't think they are afraid of me. I think that's good right? However, they won't listen to me at all. I mentioned the electrical outlet issue, but he won't quit opening the DVD player either. I have even whacked him on the butt, and swatted his hands, doesn't work. He does what he wants. Then just tonight, Sydney and I were in the basement and she grabbed a book from the box and I told her to leave it downstairs, that's where it belongs. She just kept it and went up the stairs. It really feels like I speak a different language than my kids. I guess my question to anyone reading this is, how do I get them to do what they are told, but also not be afraid of me? I need that happy medium and don't know how to get it. HELP!!!
Please leave me any ideas, because I want to be a better Daddy.
Thanks, and always remember it is what it is.

4 comments:

  1. Well, good question. I think we all have our strong points and weaknesses. Maybe you weakness is your playfulness :-). Not that it's bad to be playful or anything -- heck, kids love that. I know when I get my kids all giggly with my antics that it's almost impossible to get them to follow directions afterwards because they don't take me seriously. Buuuut, I like being funny with them so I've just learned that during those times not to expect any obedience from them. HAHA! I don't know, man. Maybe that's it, maybe not. You kids obviously love you a lot, so I'm guessing that's good enough.

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  2. Hey Dennis,

    I feel you can be "fun dad" but they have to know that when enough is enough that is it. When mine were little I would say no once and if I had to say it again, I would physically remove them from the issue, sometimes kicking and screaming and in public but I didn't care.

    Not that this is "the" way to do things, it worked for me and now they are 7 & 11 I rarely have to go off on them, they just do as they are told.

    A thought

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  3. That's really great advise, thank you. My problem arises when I don't just stop at one "no." I try to reason with them and I shouldn't. I have had to take screaming kids out of public places myself though. It's ALWAYS fun, and people NEVER stare. Thanks for the comment.

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  4. Keith, thanks for the comment. I'm in the same boat, and like I've said I try to reason. It doesn't work. I'm really trying to find the right way to get the happy medium. Maybe I need to lower my expectations.

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